Category Archives: Business

Marketing Books

Some useful tips from Frank J. Fleming.

[Lying] is a pretty tried and true method you can adapt to any situation. For instance, I tried to get someone to buy Hellbender and he was like, “Wait. Is that a science fiction comedy? I only read true crime books.”

So I said, “That’s what it is. True crime. Maybe the truest crime ever. And extra crimey.”

And then when he bought it and flipped through it and was like, “This looks like it was written by a chimp pounding at a keyboard!” I was all, “No refunds!”

Lying is great. You can also use it to make whatever you’re selling sound better than it is, though I don’t need that for Hellbender, since it has already won five Nobel prizes in literature and is in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the greatest novel ever.

As an ever-struggling author, I’ll have to try some of these.

Our Moral Betters In The NBA

But I’m dubious about this: “The thing is, LeBron, we’ve come to expect more of you. You’re obviously an intelligent person, a compassionate person and a socially conscious person. At this point in your life and career, it’s part of your brand.”

I don’t have much experience with Mr. James, hating the sport that he plays as I do, but it is not at all obvious to me that he’s an intelligent person. I don’t think he’s getting the big bucks for his brain.

[Update a while later]

[Mid-morning update]

[Afternoon update]

Yes, Mr. James, all you had to say was that “America is a free country.” But you’re a dumb ass.

[Update a while later]

Treacher: Why should I care what he thinks about China, or anything?