For those who like to get the most for their money, here’s an itemized menu of what you can get if you hire me instead:
• Bargain basement price of $200 per minute (limit of three-hour event)
• $10 per person for a handshake (light grip but not limp)
• $15 per person for a photo with me*
• $20 per person for a handshake and a photo
• $25 per person for a photo in which I appear enthusiastic
• $30 per person for a hug**
• $5 per person for a minute of light conversation
• $10 per person for a minute of light, enthusiastic conversation
• $15 and speaker will call your mom on your cell phone
• $25 per person for a lengthy, deep conversation with your mom in which I tell her we’re best friends***
Seems like a much better deal to me. I like the a la carte plan, particularly the hug.
But as Ed Driscoll notes, that doesn’t allow them to contribute to the Clintons’ personal slush fund.