Mark Whittington is in a blind panic* over the prospect of Roland Emmerich directing The Foundation trilogy.
* See this post.
Category Archives: Humor
What The Blogosphere Has Been Waiting For All Its Life
Making Sure We Get It Right
Lileks discovers a useful Obama-related on-line survey.
The Geese Have Come Home…To Roost
I should have written this.
It is time — indeed, past time — for us to ask: why do the geese hate us?
Fridge Caption Contest
Lileks (who has started actually blogging, with multiple updates per day and stuff) has a good one.
Just Arrived In Big Hollywood
Cold Humpcrack Creekwater: Two retarded gay cowgirl sisters (Rene Zellweger, Traci Lords) defy a fundamentalist sherriff (Chris Cooper) and discover love in this 1930’s period piece set in the Appalachian outback of Nebraskansaw.
Angel Soft This: In a shocking and sometimes humorous indictment of the toilet paper industry, filmmaker Morgan Spurlock documents the ravages he suffers after 30 straight days of non-stop butt-wiping.
Snow Fuji Mountain: Mothra (Toby Damon) and Gamera (Orlando Law) discover forbidden love while destroying Tokyo in this story of nuclear-triggered sexual awakening.
I would actually pay to see some of these.
Kermit Feels Their Pain
It’s not easy being green:
The unexpected discovery of a nest of red-cheeked squirrels amidst the huge, partially constructed MegaPyre Solar Power plant has halted construction, casting doubt on the viability of what has been considered to be the environmentalist’s crown jewel of renewable power facilities.
The 20 gigawatt plant was expected to provide electricity to much of southern California, and was only 6 months away from completion when the nest of squirrels, which are on the endangered species list, was found. Due to federal regulations regarding endangered species, moving the nest to another location is not permitted.
The situation has confounded local environmentalists, who are now evenly divided on whether the solar power plant or the nest of squirrels is more important to their cause.
Hear that little sound? That’s the sound of the world’s tiniest violin.
[Yes, I know it’s a joke. The twenty gigawatts, if nothing else, is a dead giveaway.]
Iowahawk’s Crystal Ball
He has his 2009 wrap-up early this year:
MARCH
Controversy erupts over new David Beckham ad for Calvin Klein underwear after embarrassed football star admits “accidentally” stuffing briefs with a potato; “I didn’t know it was supposed to go in the front,” says Becks
Stocks cautiously rebound on strong earning reports from Sterno, GunMart, American Hobo Supply
I liked the Superbowl prediction as well.
Blazing Saddles
As one commenter asks, is Nancy Pelosi the Botox Kid?
He Would Know
Leon Panetta gets a critical endorsement for taking over the CIA:
President Clinton called him “a trustworthy public servant who knows how to keep his mouth shut.”
“Leon was by my side for two and half years,” said Mr. Clinton. “About 14 months of his service came during the time that I was not having sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky, in the White House. During all those months, no one ever knew what my chief of staff knew or didn’t know, nor do they know it now.”
Mr. Panetta has also been a vocal opponent of the use of torture, but Mr. Clinton said “that’s likely just a lasting effect of his close contact with the former First Lady.”
The funniest thing is that I won’t be very surprised if Bill actually says something like this, given his foot-in-mouth behavior during the campaign.