Rowan Williams is no longer going to be Archbishop of Canterbury. In his honor, I offer up an Iowahawk classic.
Category Archives: Humor
For Aging Gamers
The s3x scene from Zelda II. Click it. You know you want to.
The Heart Of Darkness
Mark Steyn, on his upcoming excursion of danger into the wilds of the Great White North.
The Government Can
It’s a real foot tapper.
Westboro Baptist Church
…has made Iowahawk gay. I hate when that happens.
Mitt Romney?
…or Monty Burns? I got most of them right, but it is hard to tell sometimes.
“Recent” Is Apparently Relative
I love this headline: “Moon’s Scarred Crust Hints at Recent Activity, Scientists Say.”
Yes, it was only fifty million years ago. Seems like it was only yesterday. They grow up so fast.
It reminds me of the joke about the guy nodding off at the lecture on the sun. “What?! When did you say it would expand into a red giant?” “I said a couple billion years.” “Oh, that’s a relief. I thought you said a couple million.”
How To Write A Novel
Heh. As I’ve noted previously, I always fail on step one.
From Social Upheaval
…is great art made:
It is with the velocity of a giant squid and the sprawl of its erogenous arms that with water-wheels the leverage in any musculoskeletal appendage can move into positions within the time it would take the engine of filaments to accelerate the psychic mass of bodily understanding and construction for such a displacement to continue in different venues and as multiple in purpose as the simple machine of our vessel will allow toward the disappearance of a nexus like in infinite mirror games but with the ability to count each movement of the progression as it acts in mechanical, yet organic, jerking behind the dreamlike animals with their pink illusions that roll their wet bodies into our delicate systems
Yes, those college degrees were totally worth the money. Though I suspect that pharmaceuticals may have played a role.
A Fist Full Of Rebates
Iowahawk’s take on half time:
The people of Detroit know a little something about this. Okay, yeah, so this isn’t Detroit, it’s actually New Orleans. So sue me. We were supposed to film this in Detroit, but GM rented it out to film their Chevy Truck Apocalypse ad. But imagine this really was Detroit, with all its gritty inspiring he-man decay. When the chips were down we all pulled together, hosed down the streets, and turned up the dramatic shadow lighting. Now Motor City is fighting again – as the world’s cheapest location shoot for zombie movies.
Sure, I’ve seen a lot of tough eras, a lot of downturns in my life. I was in ‘Every Which Way But Loose,’ for crissakes. There were times when we didn’t understand each other, because you complained that I sounded like an emphezema victim who gargled with Grape Nuts. The fog of division, discord, and blame made it hard to see what lies ahead, no matter how hard I squinted.
Goddammit, somebody get me a throat lozenge.
But after those trials, we all rallied around what was right, and acted as one. Did you see me bitch and whine after 30 takes with a smelly orangutan? No. I sucked it up and yelled ‘action’ one more time. Because that’s what we do. We find a way through tough times, and if we can’t find a way, then we’ll call the trainer and order another orangutan, one that doesn’t throw its turds at the union crew.
Go read it all. You know you want to.